50 Shades of Gray

Two important notes before going into my review:

1.  I did not like the book at all.  as a matter of fact, I found it excruciating to finish.  Took me months to finally get through it.

2.  I am not a woman!!

I debated seeing this movie.  as mentioned, I really didn't like the book but I knew at some point I would see it.  I was sans kids on Monday, so off I went.  And I was hoping with an open mind.  Bottom line, I did not enjoy it.  As a matter of fact I dozed off a couple of times (and I will see it again to see if what I missed makes up for my initial response). 

For those of you who are familiar with the way I review movies, you know I tend to stay away from revealing too much but instead relay my feelings about the experience.  As the experience was not great I am actually going to touch upon some pieces that negatively impacted the experience.  Though I don't believe anything I will say could be considered a spoiler, stop now if you think you may find out too much.

I found the movie plodding.  It's the only word I can think of.  It just kind of droned on.  There didn't seem to be any ups or downs just very straight story telling.  and unfortunately, there is not much of a story to tell.

The opening shot was a mistake.  First off the scene was very dreary, very (yes) gray.  And we meet our hero as he is jogging through the streets.  This is not, in my opinion, the way to introduce this character.  if I remember the book, the first time we see him is in his office, his true environment.  Dressed impeccably. Beautiful office, great city view.  This is where we should meet him.  He is an icon, not a man.  I think the opening shot took away from the potential impact the office meeting would have had on the audience.  Here is this stunning man.  In Superman we first see Christopher Reeve in full Superman costume, flying off the screen, not as Clark Kent.  Save that until we've gotten that first impression.

And speaking of the office visit.  This is where our main characters meet for the first time.  The lack of chemistry flew off the screen.  There was nothing that led me to believe that these two characters would or should get together.  No desire, no steam, no future passion.  For this flick that seemed to be okay because the lack of chemistry remained throughout the film.  And the pencil chewing looked really forced.  Not a natural move but a scripted one.

Though I didn't like the book (why, poor writing and a subject matter was nowhere near as taboo as it considered itself) the driving force was Ms. Steele's inner dialogue.  This is difficult, at best, to represent in a visual medium, but no attempt was made to even show that such a thing existed.  No, voice over would have been a ridiculous device but I have to imagine there are writers out there in the world who can visually depict an inner dialogue.  Or actors who can portray it.

So that's it.  I didn't go to see it for the "wow" factor (i.e. the subject matter), I went to be entertained.  Didn't do either.

And yes, quite astonished at myself that a movie that was packed with nudity (and the promise of more) actually had me dozing off.

I will revisit this after a second, full viewing.  Maybe my thoughts will be altered.